Mastering Starting Over

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” – W.B. Yeats

Life is about learning to persevere and answer uncertainty with courage and conviction.  No matter how much human beings attempt to predict and control the future, chaos is ready to emerge at any moment’s notice.  Regardless of race, sex, religion, creed, or socio-economic status, chaos, disorder, and uncertainty are equal-opportunities embedded in living and ergo the human condition.  Nobody has full control of their destiny despite some individuals believing in an illusion that they can and are; individuals may  influence their paths, but in the end chance and luck are what largely decide the detours experienced in the external sphere.  Briefly, Malcolm Gladwell showed in one of his books how the year in which you are born has a lifelong influence on your external life chances due to a mere numbers game related to the number of babies born and the number of societal goods available.  Hence, why happiness is a daily conscious and internal realm decision that is controllable unlike external events.  Wherever life takes an individual, the individual retains control of their ability to react rationally, learn the lessons, regain momentum, and all while holding onto his or her state of happiness.

Starting over is an inevitable part of living, whether it manifests through a career change, a geographical move to a completely new area, loss of property, a new relationship, or even a chance for greater external and internal goods and rewards at the expense of starting anew.  Most individuals fear starting over, which is part of the reason why many continue and even struggle to keep their routines in an effort to avoid change, even if they are unhappy with their current state.  Furthermore, part of the reason why anxiety and pain are associated with the whole notion of starting over is due to how the collective have attached their group perceptions to the phenomena.  Thus, there is little to no room left for manipulating and turning the phenomena of starting over into something positive.

Western culture and society classify starting over as a widely negative occurrence, whereby justifying their labeling and shaming of individuals undergoing the experience.  The reality is that starting over is more common than living an entire life in a straight upward and progressive path without once having to start over.  Usually individuals either stall, take a few steps back, or take zig-zag turns.  Whether due to forced circumstance or not, the knowledge and awareness in managing the oncoming experience of change and adaptation is needed not only for practical applicability, but more importantly for the soul in terms of personal growth.  An individual can do good anywhere the individual is led.  No matter the specific scenario an individual has the ability to make a conscious decision to set aside perceived strife, and instead create and spread goodness to others in his or her immediate environment and beyond.  The practice of altruism and participation in community have enduring positive effects that connect several other factors together like a spider web.

Also, with objectively experiencing starting over an individual is empowered to overcome fear of future promises and possibilities.  For example, an individual’s mastery of starting over may transfer to enabling the individual to accept the research project of their dreams despite involving moving to a different country, or infuse a blue-collar worker with confidence to pursue and secure their first white-collar career.  The sooner an individual learns to conquer the stages of needing to start over as circumstance compels then the sooner an individual will master starting over in the future when either circumstance compels again or an individual is faced with an opportunity for improvement that requires starting over.

Rather than listen to the collective and absorb their perceptions of starting over as defeat, use starting over as an opportunity to strengthen the future self.  Live in the present and confront the emotions and thoughts headfirst and with reason.  Listen to the signs that may want to teach you something at an earlier period with a less severe circumstance that may prove to sharpen your ability to deal with a greater challenge at a later period.  The more experience with starting over and dealing with what appears to be going wrong, then thestronger and faster the individual will become in overcoming the phenomena in the future.  Moreover, the individual will serve as testament and as a resource for others who undergo the experience.  The individual will have acquired an invaluable life skill that will aid in holding onto a clear mind and improved understanding of happiness.




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