“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha
Anger is paralyzing. Albeit anger is normal, recognizing how to express it constructively makes the difference between it causing harm or not. Anger is healthy in terms of serving as a signal. It reveals how a difficult situation must change in order to return to emotional equilibrium.
However, lack of awareness leads to the negative problems associated with anger such as the ensuing frustration and loss of clarity, which results in irrational behavior and thoughts. Aggression and violence are more manifestations of anger that not only harm the receiver but the deliverer too. Then, suppressing anger is not an answer either. Suppressed anger is linked to higher stress levels and trigger other physiological responses too such as developing ulcers. Ignoring anger can disrupt work, home, and relationship balance. Unresolved conflict means facing conflict daily. Therefore, learning how to deal with anger in a calm manner is a necessary skill in order to avoid a nervous breakdown or possibly losing more than our neutral state.
Attempt analyzing why the anger is erupting. Determine if the source of the anger derives from a different place such as confusion, fear, or distrust and tackle those underlying triggers first. Furthermore, learn how your mind connects thoughts. With respect to both the internal and external realms, consciously identify how any negative thinking worsens or influences emotional states. Controlling the types of thoughts we entertain in our minds is critical in either diffusing or contributing to any volatile state.
One suggested way to combat anger is with loving kindness. Rather than taking our first reaction which is oftentimes unpredictable in the heat of the moment, let us disarm others with loving kindness. The same applies with anger aimed at ourselves; combat anger with loving kindness and forgiveness. Demonstrate how human beings are innately good and find good in others. Practice tolerance and set the example for upcoming generations.
A minute spent angry is a minute lost feeling happy. Besides losing sight of happiness, time is wasted. Tomorrow is not promised as much as the present moment. Rise above the burst of emotion in the time it matters most for our individual and collective sake. Let go of mindless anger and keep the spirit unburdened. Choose productive ways of expressing discontent and choose to communicate to find solutions and change.